The New American Male
by John Norberg, humor columnist
There is a lot of divisiveness in politics today.
But the most divisive thing in our country is a color: pink. It divides us along gender lines: boys wear blue; girls wear pink.
It wasnít always this way. In the early 20th century boys and girls were both dressed in pink and blue. But somehow, everything changed.
Color-coding does make sense with babies. Itís hard to tell whether newborns are boys or girls.
All babies have short hair.
But if you see a blue or pink outfit, you know what they are.
The problem is -- this blue/pink thing carries through life for most men.
Women donít have a problem with it. They wear pink and blue and look great in both. So why not men?
Men donít avoid pink just because women wear it. Women wear black and that certainly doesnít scare men away from wearing dark business suits.
But when was the last time you saw a group of male bankers at a power lunch wearing pink business suits?
This goes beyond clothes. When I go to the store to buy shampoo there are thousands of containers in various shades of pink.
I walk past them all and go straight to a shampoo in a blue container with three letters on it: ďMen.Ē
I donít know who manufactures it. I donít know whatís in it. I donít know if it smells like lilacs or motor oil.
I just know itís blue. It says ďMen.Ē Itís for me.
Today, women are even buying their own pink tools. They can never find their husbandís tools so buying pink guarantees the guys won't walk off with theirs.
Can you picture a 6-foot 5-inch, 250-pound guy walking onto a construction site with a pink hammer?
Well, maybe if heís 6-5 and 250 pounds he can get away with it. But normal size guys canít.
There are men today who have learned to deal with pink. They wear pink ties and shirts.
They are bold, uninhibited, unbridled by tradition and stereotype. They are confident enough in their masculinity to deal with pink. They are the new American male.
I found my wife searching in our kitchen last week.
Wife: ďI brought home several huge bags of pink M&Ms and I canít find them anywhere. Have you seen them?Ē
What can I say?
Youíre looking at the new American male.
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